Exercise Two: I Notice/I Imagine

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                           EXERCISE 2
                       I Notice/I Imagine

This exercise asks you to risk being very honest while
communicating with a new person, and helps you learn about the
first impressions you make.

Two people who do not know each other well should pair up.  In a
spirit of respect and honesty, one person will ask the other a
question in the following form:

          "I notice.....(that you're wearing a tweed
          hat), and I imagine.....(that you're a
          writer). Is that true?"

The other person, in a spirit of respect and honesty, should reply
as truthfully as possible.  These replies need not be lengthy or
disclose any more than you like, but they should be honest.

Questioner, beware!  There are many possible answers, and they may
surprise you:

          "No, I've never even considered it!"
          "Of course I'm a writer!  Don't I look like one?"
          "Oh, no, the hat keeps me dry."
          "Yes."

Repeat with other questions, using this opportunity to see if your
assumptions about a new person are accurate.  This is a way of
discovering how good you are about those "first hunches."  Ask
honest questions that are a direct result of an observation and
then an impression you've made.  Listen to the answers and gauge
the accuracy of your impressions.

After three minutes, the two people should switch roles; the
answerer becomes the questioner for the next three minutes.

For maximum effect, people should do this exercise with at least
two or three other people to have a wider range of reactions and
impressions to check.  The risks get easier to take with time.

Discuss this exercise as a group.  What was it like to ask someone
such personal things?  Were you "on target" or "way off" in your
first impressions of people?  What was it like to answer such
personal questions?  What was it like to learn how another person
sees you?

> Further notes on the exercise: 

This exercise was developed by Dr. Dawna Markova, Ph.D., an
educator who helps people understand themselves, first, as the
basis for all their other learning.

1) Participants learn to present their impressions to someone and
get an honest answer about whether they are true.  This is a great
communication procedure, but more fundamentally, it's risky to be
so honest with non-intimate colleagues.

2) Participants receive direct feedback about the kind of
impressions they make on other people.  They learn whether their
impressions about others can be trusted.  They may also learn that
some of their inaccurate guesses are projections.


3) Participants also receive feedback about the impressions others
have of them. Many people who do this exercise like learning about
the impression they create, which also helps them understand the
effects they have on others.

Make sure people pair up smoothly and quickly.  Pairs should not be
good friends, family, etc., but can be casual acquaintances.  The
power of the exercise is honesty. Make sure members of the group
are comfortable enough to be honest.

> Time: Six to seven minutes for each cycle; 20 minutes for
recommended three cycles.

• Lois M. Frey, UVM Extension, RR #4, Box 2298, Montpelier, VT 05602, (802) 223-2389, email: lfrey@sover.net
• "Group Development: Creating Group Effectiveness" by Duane Dale, DFD Associates, 99 Brattle Street, Cambridge, MA 02138-3402 (moving to 764 South East Street, Amherst, MA 01022 after 8/1/98);
• Bob Biagi, 142 Cherry Lane, Amherst, MA 01002 (413) 549-1412;

Comments to: crs@uvm.edu
Reviewed as of 4/20/98