Conflict Management

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                       CONFLICT MANAGEMENT

Conflict is inevitable in a world as complex as ours, and dealing
with conflict lies at the heart of organization management. 
However, it's also true that we, as complex individuals, have our
own internal conflicts.  We can use techniques of conflict
management as ways of resolving our own conflicts.

One major point to remember in any conflict is that it's good to
bring conflict out in the open, because unresolved conflict has
ways of silently destroying situations.  Similarly, you should
learn to recognize conflicts within yourself (voices arguing in
your head, feelings of being torn, inconsistent behavior) and
address them directly.

When bringing conflict into the open, it's important to attack the
problem, not the individual associated with the problem.  When you
are trying to deal with your own conflicts, do not attack or berate
yourself.  Be gentle with yourself and approach the conflict in a
spirit of cooperation; you're trying to make things more consistent
and peaceful within you.  Be positive with yourself.

Many conflicts are effectively resolved when the parties either
have more information, or just have the chance to tell their side. 
You will discover that if you spend enough time becoming aware of
your own conflicts, you discover enough information so the
reasonable resolution is obvious.  Other conflicts are not so
easily resolved, and you'll learn that you can live with conflict
that cannot immediately be resolved.

The essential point to remember is that conflict is an opportunity
to grow.  When we address and resolve our conflicts with others, we
learn that we can get through difficulties with others.  When we
address and resolve our own conflicts, we feel more confident about
our own strength and abilities as a self-aware person.

• Lois M. Frey, UVM Extension, RR #4, Box 2298, Montpelier, VT 05602, (802) 223-2389, email: lfrey@sover.net
• "Group Development: Creating Group Effectiveness" by Duane Dale, DFD Associates, 99 Brattle Street, Cambridge, MA 02138-3402 (moving to 764 South East Street, Amherst, MA 01022 after 8/1/98);
• Bob Biagi, 142 Cherry Lane, Amherst, MA 01002 (413) 549-1412;

Comments to: crs@uvm.edu
Reviewed as of 4/20/98