Comments to: crs@uvm.eduReviewed as of 4/20/98
THIS DOCUMENT WAS PRODUCED BY THE NEW ENGLAND REGIONAL LEADERSHIP
PROGRAM. IT IS POSTED BY THE CENTER FOR RURAL STUDIES FOR PUBLIC
USE. THE CENTER FOR RURAL STUDIES ASSUMES NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR
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EXERCISE 2
Self-Observation
"Integrity, honesty, responsibility, compassion, and
love all flow easily from the person whose (self-esteem)
is high. He feels that he matters, that the world is a
better place because he is here. He has faith in his own
competence. He is able to ask others for help, but he
believes he can make his own decisions and is his own
best resource. Appreciating his own worth, he is ready
to see and respect the worth of others. He radiates
truth and hope. He doesn't have rules against anything
he feels. He accepts all of himself as human." Virginia
Satir, Peoplemaking, Science and Behavior Books, l976.
When Virginia Satir describes the man or woman whose
self-esteem is high, she alludes to the fact that the internal
messages that person sends him- or herself are positive. One way
to practice this internal feedback is through self-observation.
Some people find it useful to "stop the action" or "freeze
frame" in preparation for self-observation. "Stopping the action"
allows one to step outside of oneself and a situation and look at
what is going on. Not only on the surface, or within the
interaction between oneself and other players, but also to check
out one's feelings. With practice this happens simultaneous with
the action, but we suggest you use the following technique to get
started.
The next time you find yourself "all wrapped up in something,"
whether in a meeting or a work situation, or even by yourself, try
taking a break from the action. Excuse yourself and find a quiet
place for a moment or two. If it helps to write to clarify
thinking, do so. Think of yourself as a compassionate, detached,
nonjudgmental observer. As this observer, ask the following
questions:
1) What is happening right now?
What am I doing?
What am I thinking?
What am I feeling?
How am I breathing?
2) What do I want for myself in this new moment?
Do I want to continue with these same actions, thoughts,
feelings, and breathing, or by making myself aware of what is
happening, will I change?
Keep in mind that this detached yet compassionate observer is
always available to you, always ready to counsel you on what you
are, not on what you think you should be. As Janette Rainwater
puts it, "Change seems to happen when you have abandoned the chase
after what you want to be (or think you should be) and have
accepted--and fully experienced--what you are." (You're In Charge,
Guild of Tutors Press, l979).
Comments to: crs@uvm.edu
Reviewed as of 4/20/98