Comments to: crs@uvm.eduReviewed as of 4/20/98
THIS DOCUMENT WAS PRODUCED BY THE NEW ENGLAND REGIONAL LEADERSHIP
PROGRAM. IT IS POSTED BY THE CENTER FOR RURAL STUDIES FOR PUBLIC
USE. THE CENTER FOR RURAL STUDIES ASSUMES NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR
THE CONTENTS. FOR MORE INFORMATION, REFER TO THE USERS GUIDE.
THAT'S NOT HOW THEY DID IT ON OUR BLOCK:
Cross-cultural Differences in Non-verbal Behavior
The language used by humanity through most of our prehistory has
been non-verbal. Yet not all people communicate the same way in
some universal non-verbal language that everyone can understand.
Not only do women and men use non-verbals differently, but there
are class, generational, regional, ethnic, and national
differences.
Eye behavior is one non-verbal behavior that differs greatly,
depending on the place and ethnic and class backgrounds of people.
Studies show that urban whites avoid eye contact within 16 to 22
feet of another person. (That is, if they aren't looking for
something specific like a brochure or handout. This varies though,
in smaller towns, especially in the western part of the country.)
Once a person enters this "no-look zone," the most one can
comfortably do is steal a glance at a passerby. Yet the social
rule says that people within the recognition distance must greet
friends or risk insult. Staring too much in our culture is
considered aggressive. Generalities, yes, but you get the idea.
A common example is the uncomfortable feeling a white middle-class
American has in a foreign country. A common American tourist's
reaction to the people in the other country is the observation that
the people were "practically on top of us" when they spoke, or were
staring or smiling for some imagined negative reason. The problem
is that we often use our own culture's set of criteria to judge or
interpret the non-verbal rules that are allowed in other places.
As a result, a friendly gesture might be interpreted as aggression
or a con.
An interesting experiment that anyone can try is to watch what
people in their neighborhood or community do when they meet or pass
on the street. Then make a comparison when you are in another city
or town. There are actually specific measured distances which
people from different ethnic and class groups keep between each
other.
Urban blacks, however, maintain very different rules of non-verbal
behavior. Eye contact with strangers is permissible. It is no
wonder, then, that confusion and communication gaps arise when a
few of these cultural, social rules mix in a meeting.
Few people realize how much we all depend on body movement in our
conversation, or are aware of those hidden rules which, like street
behavior, govern our listening behavior. Yet intuitively we know
when someone isn't listening.
In white middle-class American culture, when people want to let
the speaker know they are listening, they look at the other
person's face and eyes. In fact, it has been found that shifting
your gaze from one eye to the other or even looking at a person's
chin makes both individuals feel they are communicating, and makes
both more comfortable.
If you watch most people who are engaged in conversations, you will
notice that people often indicate that they are listening by
nodding their heads or inserting one or two word exclamations. If
one person is in agreement with what the other person is saying,
she/he may nod vigorously. Sometimes, when people want to show
agreement or pleasure they smile. If they are not sure they agree,
they may raise an eyebrow or pull down the corners of their mouth.
If they want to end a conversation, they may begin shifting the
position of their bodies, moving from foot to foot, stretching
their legs, crossing and uncrossing their arms or legs, or
shuffling their feet. You will also notice a definite shifting of
the eyes away from the speaker. The more the listener fidgets, the
more the speaker should understand his time is up.
Different class and cultural rules, when not taken into account in
a meeting, can lead to unnecessary disagreements and, more
consistently, a lack of trust. A favorite example of this is a
pre-meeting discussion between two members of an advisory board.
They need to unite in order to stop a typical bureaucratic blunder
an agency is about to commit. Each is trying to indicate an
interest in the issue and be friendly. As they talk, the Latino,
following his/her cultural rules, moves closer and closer to
his/her potential ally. The Anglo, following his/her class and
cultural norms, interprets this as pushiness or even aggression and
not only backs away from the close contact, but also shifts his/her
eyes away from the Latino's open yet direct eye contact. The
retreating movements of the Anglo shout loudly in a silent language
to the Latino and an atmosphere of mistrust evolves.
Non-verbal language is very complex, yet we all "speak" it. Most
people have developed their own individual systems based on their
own class, sex, culture, and other life experiences. Yet without
some attempt to deal with and understand this silent language, many
groups, even the ones made up of people with similar backgrounds,
can create unnecessary communication problems.
The exercises that follow may be helpful in beginning a verbal
dialogue about our non-verbal language. It is important to
remember that the discussion that follows the exercises is more
important than the exercises themselves.
CREDIT: Robert C. Biagi, Cooperative Extension, University of
Massachusetts, Amherst.
Comments to: crs@uvm.edu
Reviewed as of 4/20/98